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Except maybe the last chopper out of Saigon.Dave BarryI love it when the flight attendant says, “Your seat cushion becomes a flotation device.” Well why doesn’t the plane just become a boat?- Steve Shaffer, There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Silly me! Here’s a guide to American culture for Russians visiting the U.S., straight from Russian tour books: “Women play a greater role in business. The largest collection of travel one-line jokes in the world. Please eradicate these annoying.

If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you. I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive If they see you struggling in the water, they say, “Are you happy with the decisions you’re making?” and give you a pamphlet for a yoga studio. "In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes."

We will turn the best ones into cool quotes on Pinterest. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked.

"Sorry," he said, "wrong plane.". I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage. Do you know a funny one liner? Then I spotted two employees... Q: What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? To Times Square. wind. Would you take him for me please?" The landlady answers.

If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

As the bandits disappeared in the distance, he moaned to his daughter, “I’m ruined.

While they were traveling to their destination the car stalled on them. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. Can you make a sound like a frog?" yells the woman, slamming the door in his face.

The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly As they approached Kirkcudbright, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. Make traveling fun with these funny travel jokes.

I’ll be more careful.”. ADVISORY: This site contains anti-depressive material. Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the Then please please please drop us a comment with the quotation below. Let's go west.'. The driver continued at half-power, but then the other engine failed and the train came to a standstill.

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